


Is It Really Too Late?

by flightlesscrow



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Swearing, The violence isn't too bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 09:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9174694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightlesscrow/pseuds/flightlesscrow
Summary: Izaya accidentally causes a huge rift in he and Shizuo's fragile relationship. Can he fix what he's done?





	

The rain poured harder, faster, and louder than it ever had in Ikebukuro. At least, that’s what Izaya Orihara liked to believe. The world was against him today, he could sense it. Instead of getting angry about it, though, he resigned. 

He had been walking in this rain for about an hour now. He was soaked to the bone, and was physically shaking as a result. The rain was freezing, at least to him.  _ I’m gonna catch cold if I don’t get out of this weather soon, _ he thought. 

Still, he walked around the city without an umbrella. He viewed this as some sort of punishment for what had transpired a little over an hour ago. 

-

_ “Damn bastard, get the hell out of my house. Now,” Shizuo seethed, glaring at Izaya as he walked through the door. He knew it was the biggest cliche in the book, but, he couldn’t help but think that if looks could kill, he’d be six feet under by now. He did not leave, though, and closed the door behind him with a soft  _ click. 

_ “I don’t understand what I did, Shizu-chan,” Izaya lied. He knew what this was about, but he thought if he could avoid it, the issue would resolve itself. He was wrong. Still, he took a seat across the table from Shizuo. To his surprise, Shizuo didn’t protest against it. _

_ “You know  _ damn well _ what you did, flea.” Izaya cringed at the nickname. He never did like to be called that. He thought they’d moved past that stage in their life. He was wrong about that too, apparently.  _

_ “Would you like to enlighten me, Shizu-chan? I must be drawing a blank.” Izaya smirked, hiding the fear he really felt on the inside. Shizuo could not tell that Izaya was faking it.  _ It’s better that way _ , Izaya thought to himself. It’s better if Shizuo could not read him.  _

_ “Does leaking information to foreigners who want my head ring a bell? Does telling them everything they need to know to find me, torture me, and kill me ring a fucking bell, Izaya?!” Shizuo’s voice was strangely calm, but Izaya was more scared than he had ever been in his entire life. He had never once before been scared of Shizuo before, despite knowing what Shizuo was capable of doing. It was the fact that Shizuo was sitting still, voice betraying no emotions, and eyes lacking their wild look that they used to have when Izaya would fuck up that made the information broker so uneasy. _

_ “Shizu-chan, let me expla-” _

_ “You don’t get a goddamn explanation.” Shizuo silenced Izaya. Izaya gulped and shifted in his seat. Those eyes that Izaya had mistakenly gotten used to seeing full of warmth, happiness, and, dare he say it,  _ love _ , were ice cold as they pierced through his soul. Izaya decided he did not like the pure hatred Shizuo’s eyes held.  _

_ “I’m sorry, Shizu-chan, I-”  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Save it, flea. It’s too late to apologize. You’re lucky I was able to fight them off. You’re lucky I don’t have the energy to do to you what they were going to do to me.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Shizuo-” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I’d suggest you leave before I change my mind.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “But-” _ _   
_ _   
_ __ “Fucking hell, Izaya, go! Go, and don’t come back! If I see you around here again, I won’t hesitate to kill you!”

_ Izaya said nothing, but stood from his chair so fast that it tipped over. He knew Shizuo was the only one who had the right to be angry, and he brought this on himself, but he still couldn’t help but be bothered that Shizuo wouldn’t let him explain what happened.  _

_ The door slammed shut behind Izaya as he stormed out of Shizuo’s house. _

_ - _

That was the reason Izaya was lurking around town in the pouring rain. He didn’t have the heart to go home, afraid he would do something stupid. Like trying to contact Shizuo when Shizuo no longer wanted anything to do with him. There were too many painful reminders there of the time that they had found an understanding. No, understanding was the wrong word. It was more than that. Friendship? Not quite right either, but Izaya wouldn’t say it got as far as a romantic relationship, either. 

It was a brief time, but it was one of the best times of his life, and he’d gone and thrown it all away. He almost wished Shizuo had killed him back there instead of sending him away. Death would be better than the pain and guilt he felt. 

The sky grew darker with each passing minute, and the rain fell with more force. Raindrops began to sting Izaya’s skin where they hit him, and he could hardly see two feet in front of him. 

He knew staying in this weather would likely end in sickness, an accident, or worse, and while not even five minutes ago he had wished for death, that didn’t sound like such a great idea anymore. 

He decided he had to find a place to go, but no stores were open with weather like this. There was no one stupid enough to be walking or driving around, either. Well, no one except himself, that is. His home was all the way across town from where he was, and he knew it would be damn near impossible to get there with circumstances being as they were.

There was only one place left he could go, then. It wasn’t the best decision he’d ever made, but he didn’t see another way out at the time. 

He set out on his way to Shizuo’s house for the second time that day. He ignored the rational part of him that told him meeting with Shizuo again was basically suicide. He opted instead for trudging on in the rain.    
  
Since it was difficult to even see his own hand, it took him what felt like three hours to get from where he had wandered to back to Shizuo’s house. The whole time he was having an internal battle with himself. He wanted to make things right, but he knew that he couldn’t. He had never cared before for making things right with someone. He had never cared before if anyone hated him. But with Shizuo, it was different. He didn’t want this huge rift between them. He had just mended it, for Christ’s sake. But, like the fool he was, he had ripped apart the fragile stitches holding their relationship together. 

If it was anyone else in the world, he would have let them be alone. This wasn’t anyone else, however. This was someone Izaya couldn’t bear to even think about losing, getting comfortable with having him in his life. Getting comfortable with being more to Shizuo than his sworn enemy. 

He hadn’t noticed coming to a stop in front of Shizuo’s house, being too lost in his head to recognize it. He had been looking down at his feet, and noticed the distinctive crack in the sidewalk leading to Shizuo’s front door. That’s how he realized he had made it there. 

He walked to the front door, coughing with every other step. Had he just started doing that? He couldn’t remember. The overhang got him out of the rain, but he was still shaking like a leaf. He knew he was getting sick, what with the shaking and coughing, but he couldn’t pay attention to that right now.

He knocked at the door, leaning against it immediately afterwards. The knock was weak, but he knew Shizuo would hear it. Whether or not he chose to answer was another story, however. 

A few minutes passed, and no answer. Izaya knocked again. This time, he heard shuffling come from inside the house.    
  
“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming,” Shizuo called. Izaya heard him mutter ‘who the hell is crazy enough to come visit me in this shitty weather,’ along with a lock clicking. The door swung open.

“Who is it-” Shizuo began to ask, before he saw Izaya practically fall into his house. Izaya managed to catch himself just before he fell, but he stumbled quite a bit. 

“I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me, Izaya,” Shizuo nearly growled at him. Izaya coughed.

“Sorry, Shizu-chan. It’s raining,” Izaya mumbled, pointing at the rain outside through the open door Shizuo had yet to shut. 

“I see that. I also see a sopping wet bastard getting water all over my floors.” 

Izaya laughed weakly, which turned into another cough. He cursed himself for staying outside in the rain so long.  _ No, you deserve this. You put him through hell. Now you deserve the same, _ he told himself. 

Shizuo sighed and shook his head at him, closing the door.    
  
“Go to the bathroom and hop in the shower. Quickly. You’re getting everything wet.”   
  
“Yes, sir!” Izaya said, going to the bathroom as quickly as he could manage. He did as he was told, stripping out of his wet clothing and hopping into the shower. The water was warm, and the droplets no longer stung but felt nice against his skin. He was grateful for the warmth.   
  
“Izaya, is the door unlocked?” Shizuo asked.

“Yeah.”   
  
“Are you already in the shower?”   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
Shizuo came in the bathroom then. “I set a dry change of clothes on the sink for you, and am giving you a bag for your dirty clothes so you can take them with you.”    
  
“Thanks, Shizu-chan.”    
  
No reply came, and Izaya heard the  _ click _ of the door, the sign that Shizuo left.    
  
Izaya tried to hurry in the shower so he wouldn’t use up all the hot water, but his movements were sluggish and his mind was sort of hazy. 

He grabbed a bottle of shampoo, and poured more than he should have into his hand to wash his hair with. 

_ Smells like Shizu-chan, _ he thought, brain not processing the fact that it was Shizuo’s shampoo. 

When he got out of the shower, he dried off with a towel Shizuo had left him, and got changed into the spare clothes. He put his wet ones in a bag to take with him when he left. 

“Shizu-chan, your clothes are big,” Izaya commented, walking into the hallway. 

“No shit, I’m bigger than you are so my clothes are going to be big on you. I tried to find the smallest things I could.” Izaya followed the sound of Shizuo’s voice to the living room, where Shizuo was sat reading a book.

He sat across the room from him and didn’t speak a word, thinking Shizuo might.    
  
Shizuo didn’t speak. 

The silence was threatening to wrap around Izaya’s throat and squeeze. He squirmed in his seat, unable to keep still. He felt that if he didn’t stay put, though, Shizuo would kick him out. He couldn’t bear for that to happen again, so he tried not to move too much.

“Uh, thanks for-”   
  
“Shut it. It’s only because I didn’t want you getting water everywhere or getting me sick,” Shizuo said, book held in front of his face.

“Right,” Izaya said under his breath. 

More silence ensued. Izaya wished Shizuo would just say something, anything. He was getting desperate. But he knew that Shizuo would not speak to him, so he would have to speak himself.

“I’m sorry, Shizu-chan,” Izaya whispered. 

“Didn’t I tell you it was too late for that,” Shizuo said in a pissed off tone. He put his book down and looked Izaya in the face. Izaya refused to look back.

He was trying to think about how he could explain the situation to Shizuo, but everything he was coming up with was shitty or half-assed. That wouldn’t do. He decided to just wing it and see where it got him.

“Shizu-chan, I didn’t have much of a choice, you know? The people who came to me did not speak Japanese and their English was shitty, I couldn’t understand them. They demanded information about you, anything that I had. I couldn’t say no.”   
  
“Of course you could have said no, you’re allowed to refuse work.” Shizuo narrowed his eyes at Izaya. He was shaking, but Shizuo couldn’t tell if it was because he was sick or another reason. Izaya coughed again.

“I couldn’t refuse this one. There were too many of them there, all bigger than me, and when I drew my switchblade they knocked it out of my hand and kicked it away before restraining me. They had a knife pressed against my throat, told me they’d kill me if I didn’t talk. They wouldn’t tell me what they were doing with the information. I tried to ask. I don’t think they understood me. If they did, they didn’t show it. I was scared, Shizu-chan. I didn’t know they’d come after you like that.” Izaya spoke quickly and his words slurred together. 

“You could have called the police on them. They were probably here illegally, they could have done something.” Shizuo’s eyes narrowed further. 

“I was restrained, Shizu-chan. And the police are slow. They wouldn’t have gotten there in time. They’d have probably killed me if I called for help,” Izaya muttered. 

Shizuo was silent. Izaya was, too. He was anxiously bouncing his leg, something that Shizuo hated, but Izaya couldn’t help it.

“Sounds like a load of bullshit.”    
  
“But it’s not, I’m telling the truth.”    
  
“Still,” Shizuo sighed. “I’m still pissed at you.”

Izaya nods. He would probably be pissed too, if he was in Shizuo’s shoes.    
  
“I’ll leave. Thank you for letting me in and letting me explain. I’ll try to return your clothes to you soon,” Izaya said. Shizuo had never heard Izaya use that tone before. He sounded almost… vulnerable. Izaya stood and headed towards the door. Shizuo followed suit.   
  
“Wait, Izaya-” Izaya had pulled open the door. He was relieved to see that the rain had stopped.   
  
“I’m sorry, Shizu-chan.” Izaya pulled the door closed behind him before Shizuo had the chance to respond. 

He started walking away from Shizuo’s house when he heard the door open. He stopped, but did not look back.  
  
“Izaya, what the hell?” Shizuo yelled after him. Izaya resumed walking, and Shizuo ran after him. He grabbed Izaya’s wrist and prevented him from walking any further.

“Shizu-chan?” Izaya asked, looking up at him.

“I understand why you did it. I’m still a little bit angry at you. But I forgive you. Come back inside?” Shizuo asked. Izaya looked at him with a skeptical look on his face.

“I don’t think you really want me to stay if you’re angry at me, Shizu-chan.” Izaya shook his head and pulled his arm out of Shizuo’s grip. He began the walk home again, but was stopped by Shizuo lifting him up by the back of his (borrowed) shirt. 

“Put me down, Shizu-chan.” 

“Come inside. It’s going to storm again and you’re already on your way to getting sick.”    
  
“That’s the punishment I get for doing what I did.”    
  
“Don’t be ridiculous. Just come back in.”   
  
“Shizuo…” Izaya shook his head. “Do you really want me to come back in?” Shizuo was quiet for a second.

“Yes, so will you?”    
  
Izaya sighed. “Put me down, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo put him down, but grabbed his wrist so he couldn’t leave again. “Will you come in?”   
  
“I suppose I could, if you promise not to be too angry with me,” Izaya said. He was still scared that Shizuo would get angry with him again, though he seemed to be much calmer now than he was earlier.

“I won’t. I’m not that mad anymore, anyway,” Shizuo admitted. Izaya huffed, but a small smile was on his face.   
  
“Alright, then.” 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the song Apologize by Onrepublic and Timbaland.
> 
> forgive me. 
> 
> (ive only seen a little of the anime and havent read the manga/light novels this was all done on a whim i apologize,,,)
> 
> if u liked this and want to tell me how i did feel free to leave a comment or find me on tumblr/instagram at zerogravitychuuya!!!


End file.
